Noise-makers
It is now 10 minutes till eight in the morning. Yes, I'm up. In fact, I've been up since 7:00. I don't have to work for another 3 hours, but I'm up.
There are a couple of reasons for this odd occurance. The first, and maybe unofficial reason, is that in just three days, I will begin my fall semester at ICC in Peoria...I will only be driving there two morinings a week, but on Monday mornings, I have to be IN PEORIA at 8:00 AM. So, I figured maybe I needed to start practicing getting up before lunchtime.
The second, and maybe most important reason I am up (and actually awake this fine morning) is the crickets. Yes, the crickets. Let me dwell further into this topic. As you may already know, Jason and I are currently living in his parents basement...A dark, cool, sometimes moist area of the home that is obviously a breeding ground for these most annoying critters. Jason has become somewhat of a cricket hunter...and in fact, referred to himself this morning as the Cricket Man. These things are like a three year old armed with a whistle. They are like a million little Mr. Rice's (aka: band directors) that never stop blowing that damn whistle. I have this theory that all the crickets have some secret lair in that basement somewhere....and they sit around, maybe playing poker or something, smoking cigarettes and hanging out in some dark alley of the black dungeon...and somewhere around 5am they check their watches and realize that they haven't pissed anyone off in about 2 hours....so they all grab their whistles and head out into the night to see who can get the closest to the humans without getting killed. It's like a constant highpitched "chwerp, chwerp, chwerp"......and as soon as you think you've spotted one to kill, it jumps three feet in the other damn direction, then turns around and starts blowing it's damn whistle right in your face.
"HA HA, Stuped human! CHWERP, CHWERP, CHWERP, CHWERP....."
I swear the one this morning was acutally in bed with us, laying on the pillows between our heads. Jason got up with his trusty flashlight and some kind of poking device, and discovered it in a hole in the concrete floor under the carpet by our bed. As soon as he killed it, another one started taunting him. He found that one, too...Which is why he is now called "The Cricket Man".
When he was gone the other day, I tried to battle one myself. It kept jumping out of the way of my foot, so in attempt to kill it, I grabbed the first aerosol can of something I could find....Febreeze Air Effects. Yeah, that's right. I sprayed that cricket with a scent of clean laundry that he never saw coming. I think I only disorriented him, though, because I watched him jump under the water heater into a cobweb, then free himself and flee back to, I don't know....the poker game.
Fucking annoying insects.
So, anyway, now I'm upstairs having breakfast, listening to the damn pet bird chirp at tones that could make dolphins cry.......
There are a couple of reasons for this odd occurance. The first, and maybe unofficial reason, is that in just three days, I will begin my fall semester at ICC in Peoria...I will only be driving there two morinings a week, but on Monday mornings, I have to be IN PEORIA at 8:00 AM. So, I figured maybe I needed to start practicing getting up before lunchtime.
The second, and maybe most important reason I am up (and actually awake this fine morning) is the crickets. Yes, the crickets. Let me dwell further into this topic. As you may already know, Jason and I are currently living in his parents basement...A dark, cool, sometimes moist area of the home that is obviously a breeding ground for these most annoying critters. Jason has become somewhat of a cricket hunter...and in fact, referred to himself this morning as the Cricket Man. These things are like a three year old armed with a whistle. They are like a million little Mr. Rice's (aka: band directors) that never stop blowing that damn whistle. I have this theory that all the crickets have some secret lair in that basement somewhere....and they sit around, maybe playing poker or something, smoking cigarettes and hanging out in some dark alley of the black dungeon...and somewhere around 5am they check their watches and realize that they haven't pissed anyone off in about 2 hours....so they all grab their whistles and head out into the night to see who can get the closest to the humans without getting killed. It's like a constant highpitched "chwerp, chwerp, chwerp"......and as soon as you think you've spotted one to kill, it jumps three feet in the other damn direction, then turns around and starts blowing it's damn whistle right in your face.
"HA HA, Stuped human! CHWERP, CHWERP, CHWERP, CHWERP....."
I swear the one this morning was acutally in bed with us, laying on the pillows between our heads. Jason got up with his trusty flashlight and some kind of poking device, and discovered it in a hole in the concrete floor under the carpet by our bed. As soon as he killed it, another one started taunting him. He found that one, too...Which is why he is now called "The Cricket Man".
When he was gone the other day, I tried to battle one myself. It kept jumping out of the way of my foot, so in attempt to kill it, I grabbed the first aerosol can of something I could find....Febreeze Air Effects. Yeah, that's right. I sprayed that cricket with a scent of clean laundry that he never saw coming. I think I only disorriented him, though, because I watched him jump under the water heater into a cobweb, then free himself and flee back to, I don't know....the poker game.
Fucking annoying insects.
So, anyway, now I'm upstairs having breakfast, listening to the damn pet bird chirp at tones that could make dolphins cry.......
5 Comments:
I am laughing so hard! I can just see Jason "hunting" crickets! Too funny! Libby just got a whistle the other day and that baby got taken away about 5 minutes after she got it!
Dude, try and get in on that poker game.
Let them win a few bucks and maybe you guys would be cool.
Of course Cricket Man killing their kin might hinder the peace talks.
Good luck.
"Cricket Man" made me laugh out loud.
I am cracking up right now at your visions of the crickets hanging out. kladsjf;lkajds;lfkjadslfkjasdf
you are too funny ms. gebby. too funny. and i miss you;)
hahaha - peeing my pants A) at the reference of Mr. Rice and B) because of the entire cricket story! Classic - hee hee
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